14.1.08
Christening (first revision)
I.
Call it ritual send-off,
call it amulet for the soul—
the smearing
cleansing a past of fault
—breaking an innocence
at the outset, in the hope
a smashing god won't try again.
II.
Vessels shatter—
a brow whets,
lonely waves afflict the prow.
A poet is launched—
transparent love
the glass crashed without ceremony.
III.
Ships, which are always spoken of
as women, and for that matter
so is the sea.
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3 comments:
The revision is fabulous! Wow!
Thank you. I thought, this way at least you can treat each part individually, since they don't quite flow together as one (just a thematic link). Is there any kind of formal name for dividing a poem up into numbered sections like this? If not I may have to think up something clever...
YES, YES, YES...very, very nice revision. I love it.
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